Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
