ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I need moral support for this bender
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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