Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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