I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
