Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Randomize
