can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
