shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize