the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
