That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
