I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
