Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I just cut my nipple shaving
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
