I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
