return my video game
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
