I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm getting married
To pizza
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Randomize
