i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
