hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
