My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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