ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
FUCK WHALES
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize