Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
