I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
