My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize