hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
