Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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