You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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