At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
