What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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