Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
