From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I have fence marks all over my body
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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