Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
