ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We're too hungover to prance.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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