Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
