Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
