oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
