we're blogging at a bar
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
