I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
