literally had 100 drinks last night.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
