I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
