where am i from again
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
