Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize