u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Randomize
