I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
