I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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