even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
