Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
