Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
