Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
