my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
