I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
