She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
