just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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