Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
