i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Sober January is a disaster.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
