Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
