How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
