There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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