just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
