k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
