I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
