He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
