What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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